BOOKS & FILMS

BOOKS

 Note on locations – The books can be found at these locations, indicated after each title below:

  “Lib. Call # xxx” – indicates the location is the Terwilliger Plaza library.

  “Katrina’s Office” – indicates the location is Katrina Mainetti’s office on the 2nd floor of the Tower.

[no location given] – indicates the book isn’t at Terwilliger Plaza

GRIEF

It's OK that You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture that Doesn’t Understand by Megan Devine  (Lib. Call # 155.9)

This is a beautiful book about grief that acknowledges the shortcomings of Western culture’s current understanding of grief and the idea that grief is something to be “fixed,” “solved,” or “overcome.” Megan takes a different approach to grief and discusses the difference between solving pain and tending to pain, the idea that there is no return to a normal life before loss, and how to learn to live alongside your grief. 

This book gives the grieving permission to feel whatever it is they are feeling when faced with significant loss and acknowledges there is no time line for grief. The author shares her experiences as a psychotherapist and working with grieving people, as well as, her own personal story of loss. (Devany Benis)

Understanding Your Grief: 10 Essential Touchstones by Alan Wolfelt (Lib. Call # 155.9)

Explaining the important difference between grief and mourning, this book explores every mourner's need to acknowledge death and embrace the pain of loss. Also explored are the many factors that make each person's grief unique and the many normal thoughts and feelings mourners might have. Questions of spirituality and religion are addressed as well. The rights of mourners to be compassionate with themselves, to lean on others for help, and to trust in their ability to heal are upheld. Journaling sections encourage mourners to articulate their unique thoughts and feelings.

The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller (Lib. Call # 155.9)

With grief rituals, reflection prompts, and deep, ageless wisdom, this book is a genre-defining invitation to healing and renewal. Weller helps us rediscover what modernity has made us forget…and reconnects us to our most profound and human yearnings. Less a self-help volume than a blessing, this book is a homecoming for the soul. (from the book jacket)

Memorial Days: A Memoir by Geraldine Brooks.  (Lib. Call # 823.9)

Follow Brooks finding a way to deal with her grief about the sudden death of her husband. It’s also about the death itself, its aftermath, and, to a lesser extent, about the problems she encountered when dealing with the medical system after the death. It’s a beautifully-written memoir

Everything Changes Everything: Love, Loss, and a Really Long Walk by Lauren Kessler 

After tragedy upended the contours of her life Kessler felt compelled to move—to do something, to be somewhere else. So, she set out alone on the famed Camino de Santiago, walking across Spain to create space between the life she’d lived and the life she hadn’t chosen but now inhabited. Her story is about facing what we’d rather avoid, about the wounds we carry, hide, and—sometimes—heal. (Barnes & Noble)

UNDERSTANDING DEATH AND DYING

Advice to Future Corpses by Sallie Tisdale  (Lib.Call # 306.9)

“In its loving, fierce specificity, this book on how to die is also a blessedly saccharine-free guide for how to live. . . Tisdale does not write to allay anxieties but to acknowledge them, and she brings death so close, in such detail and with such directness, that something unusual happens, something that feels a bit taboo. She invites not just awe or dread—but our curiosity. And why not? We are, after all, just 'future corpses pretending we don’t know.'” (from the New York Times)

The Lost Art of Dying: Reviving Forgotten Wisdom by L.S. Dugdale (Katrina’s Office)

Dugdale considers how to change the current "death-denying" culture to help readers become more comfortable with death. She challenges the assumptions and habits that lead to a preponderance of medicalized hospital deaths, calling for a personal acceptance of mortality and a revival of community support for the dying, particularly support of those who would otherwise die alone. (from Publishers Weekly)

The Iceberg by Marion Coutts (Katrina’s Office)

For the two years leading up to her husband's death from a brain tumor, Coutts kept their many friends updated with a steady stream of positive, factual e-mails. But like an iceberg, most of her private feelings and struggles were submerged. In this painfully honest, beautifully written memoir, she exposes her fears and heartbreak as she watches her art-critic husband begin to lose first his physical stamina and, finally, his grasp of language. Uplifting rather than depressing, this moving story will touch readers. (from Booklist)

NAVIGATING THE MEDICAL SYSTEM AT THE END OF LIFE

Last Rights: Rescuing the End of Life from the Medical System by Steven Kiernan.  (Lib. Call # 179.7)

“Bolstered by both scientific research and intimate portraits of people from all walks of life, Last Rights offers a hopeful, profound vision for patients, doctors, and families: a way to honor people during their greatest vulnerability, a chance for families to reconnect, an opportunity for the medical system to treat patients with ultimate respect, a time to give comfort and compassion to those we most love.” (from the cover)

The Inevitable: Dispatches on the Right to Die by Katie Engelhart (Lib. Call # 179.7)

“A remarkably nuanced, empathetic, and well-crafted work of journalism, [The Inevitable] explores what might be called the right-to-die underground, a world of people who wonder why a medical system that can do so much to try to extend their lives can do so little to help them end those lives in a peaceful and painless way.”(Brooke Jarvis, The New Yorker )

Modern Death: How Medicine has Changed the End of Life by Dr. Warraich (Lib. Call # 179.7)

Written by a physician who shows how life ends now compared to a time before some of our fantastic “advances in medicine”. He references everything extremely well, giving you access to even more intense evaluation of how dying has changed from something rather sudden, to something that can drag on for years perhaps despite the individual's wishes. He is not blaming, but instead documenting that there is good reason for individuals to learn about the real world of hospital medicine.

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters at the End by Atul Gawande  (Lib. Call # 610 and Katrina’s Office)

A surgeon covers end of life issues within his own family, which consists of three physicians who are struggling with the loss of autonomy in the modern medical system. He points out how the modern medical system takes control of end-of-life decisions, as the inherent goal of modern medicine is length of life as opposed to quality of life.

Finish Strong: Putting YOUR Priorities First at Life’s End by Barbara Coombs Lee  (Lib. Call # 616) 

Written by a fellow Oregonian who started as a nurse, became a physician’s assistant and then finally a lawyer.  She details her experience of how modern medicine negatively impacts end of life care. Her chapter on “escaping dementia “is aspirational, and possibly achievable with dedicated effort. 

Hard Choices for Loving People: CPR, Feeding Tubes, Palliative Care, Comfort Measures, and the Patient with a Serious Illness by Hank Dunn (Lib. Call # 616)

Written by an experienced hospice and hospital chaplain, this is a practical book for loved ones navigating medical intervention at end of life.  It also calms ethical/moral concerns family members may have.

Finish Strong by Barbara Coombs Lee  (Lib. Call # 616)

Finish Strong: Putting Your Priorities First at Life’s End offers specific details to help people retain control over how they face their final days. The information includes how to find a doctor who will work with you on your wishes; evaluate whether a test or procedure would help or hurt; pursue the most conservative course of action (slow medicine); choose and work with a good hospice program; decide if living with severe dementia is worse than death and how to legally and ethically escape this condition.

Knocking on Heaven's Door: The Path to A Better Way of Death by Katy Butler (Katrina’s Office)

"An exquisitely written, expertly reported memoir and expose; of modern medicine that leads the way to more humane, less invasive end-of-life care based on the author's acclaimed New York Times Magazine piece. This is the story of one daughter's struggle to allow her parents the peaceful, natural deaths they wanted and to investigate the larger forces in medicine that stood in the way”.

The Conversation: A Revolutionary Plan for End-of-life Care by Angelo E. Volandes (Katrina’s Office)

“Patients and doctors together all too frequently avoid one of the most important areas of health care: making advance decisions about care at the end of life. From both a personal and an evidence-based practice perspective, Volandes attempts to show both why these vital conversations need to happen and how to facilitate them.”

Last Acts of Kindness: Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying by Judith Redwing Keyssar. (Katrina’s Office)

"…Keyssar speaks eloquently and from her heart about her extensive experience in the field of palliative care––providing nursing expertise along with emotional and spiritual guidance and support for people in hospitals, residential facilities, and in their own homes. She encourages us to examine our personal relationships to impermanence and to consider the changes needed in our healthcare system to better serve us all at the end of life.” (from the website)

Dying Well: Peace and Possibilities at the End of Life by Ira Byock (Katrina’s Office)

Many terminally ill people fear that their last days will be spent as burdens to their families, helpless, without dignity, and in unbearable pain. This book tells the story of Byock’s father's final illness and those of hospice patients Byock has helped through the dying process. Focusing on the clinical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of death, the stories emphasize Byock's unshakable belief that physical and psychological suffering can always be alleviated through the devoted efforts of hospice caregivers. (from Library Journal)

Final Exit: The Practicalities of Self-Deliverance and Assisted Suicide for the Dying (2002 print edition) by Derek Humphry (Katrina’s Office)

With deep sensitivity and insight, Final Exit spells out why a living will may not be sufficient to have a person’s wishes carried out--and what document is a better alternative. It updates where to get specific medications and precisely how to carry out the quickest, most peaceful way to make a final exit. Finally, the book addresses the person considering self-deliverance about alternatives and planning. The author is considered the father of the right to die movement internationally, and this book also describes the history of this movement.  

Final Exit: The Practicalities of Self-Deliverance and Assisted Suicide for the Dying by Derek Humphry (2020 digital PDF edition)

For a quarter of a century, this has been the standard bearer in how-to literature on peaceful dying. Humphry’s book addresses the advanced planning and documentation needed by a person about to terminate their life. Advance Directives, life insurance, the law, final notes to family, and drug dosages are explained in straightforward terms. Those interested in the inert gas method should get this updated digital edition, as the 2002 print edition lacks detail on this topic.

DEMENTIA & ALZHEIMER’S

Before I Lose My Own Mind: Navigating Life as a Dementia Caregiver, by Beverly E. Thorn, Ph.D 

In Before I Lose My Own Mind, Thorn—a psychologist, neuroscientist, and end-of-life doula—provides an honest vision of caregiving that is tender, openhearted, and genuinely useful. Filled with resources and insights on financial planning, advance care directives, clinical trials, support groups, death with dignity, grief, recovery, and more, this book is a roadmap for all caregivers, whether they’re family or friends, spouses or children, professionals or novices. 

Winter's End: Dementia and Dying Well by Lewis Cohen (Lib. Call # 616.8)

Explores many end-of-life options and how they work, or not, for people with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Includes how an individual in Oregon chose to end his life using VSED. His experience had some major road bumps.

A Tattoo on my Brain: A Neurologist's Personal Battle Against Alzheimer's Disease by Daniel Gibbs (Lib. Call # 616.8)

A book by a fellow Oregonian who worked as a neurologist at OHSU and who battles Alzheimer’s Disease himself. He shares the reality of life with a progressive disease feared by most of us. His book conveys the difficulty, but also some of the more encouraging aspects of living with progressive cognitive impairment.

Somebody I Used to Know by Wendy Mitchell (Katrina’s Office)

 A memoir by a former British National Health Service employee and single parent describes her battles with early onset Alzheimer's, the management techniques she has developed to maintain her independence, and her efforts to make sense of her shifting world. (from book jacket)

In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Amy Bloom

A wonderful memoir about a woman's experience accompanying her husband who wishes to die in to Switzerland.

AGING

The Art of Aging: A Doctor's Prescription for Well-Being by Sherwin B. Nuland

 Written by a physician who points out that one can avoid a life of slow deterioration, and instead lead a vigorous life - until it comes to an abrupt end. The concept of “compression of morbidity” is well laid out. 

 MISCELLANEOUS

The Hummingbird by Steven Kiernan

A novel which covers the topics of life, war and human interaction – with an Oregon connection. It is fun, light reading, but highlights the interaction between a hospice worker and a retired professor, now curmudgeon, and the mutual impact individuals have on each other. The author has deeply seated feelings about end-of-life issues. 

Pamphlets: “Journey’s End”, “Gone From My Sight”, “The Eleventh Hour" (In Plaza Library)

 FILMS

How to Die in Oregon (2011 documentary) Watch online

A critically acclaimed documentary that explores the personal, ethical, and legal aspects of the law, featuring patients like Curtis who chose to use it. Cody Curtis was a 54-year-old Portland woman diagnosed with terminal liver cancer who is featured in the 2011 documentary. She utilized Oregon's Death with Dignity law (passed in 1994, affirmed in 1997) to end her life on December 7, 2009, with her family present, after struggling with severe pain and the physical degradation caused by her cancer. 

The Room Next Door (drama) directed by Pedro Almodóvar

“The Room Next Door is the story of two women (Julianne Moore and Tilda Swinton) who reconnect after a several year estrangement. Martha is played by Swinton and Ingrid by Moore. Ingrid is a best-selling author, and Martha is a former war correspondent. At a book signing, a mutual friend encourages Ingrid to reach out to Martha as she’s fighting an aggressive form of cancer.

Ingrid starts spending a lot of time with Martha, who admits that her fight with cancer is not going well and has a big ask. Martha has accepted that she’s not going to get better. She wants to end her life instead of going through more chemotherapy with diminished returns…” (Review by Chris Burlingame)

Good movie pointing out how although suicide is legal, it is against the laws to help anyone. As the movie reaches the end, you understand how much others’ values can be brought to bear. 

Death Out of the Shadows (documentary) directed by Genia and Russell Stemper

 A video interviewing various individuals about end-of-life issues. You will hear from the perspective of a death doula as well as others. If end of life issues totally new to you, it might be helpful.  Although the video is moving and informative, there is little that is not already available in other media.

Jack Has a Plan (documentary) directed by Bradley Berman

When Jack Tuller, a man with a terminal brain tumor for 25 years, decides to end his life, his family and friends struggle to accept his decision. Jack’s best friend documents his three-year quest to die a happy man, culminating in a permanent going-away party.

The Father (drama) directed by Florian Zeller

A man refuses all assistance from his daughter as he ages and, as he tries to make sense of his changing circumstances, he begins to doubt his loved ones, his own mind and even the fabric of his reality. This film painfully points out that it is fanciful to consider dementia is just about getting pleasantly confused.  Starring Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Coleman, the film and the actors in it have won numerous awards.